woot! woot!

Okeh! Enough being sulky! :P
Aku ni tak abis2 post pasal benda yg meleret la. Yang sedih la. Yang itu la. Yang ini la..
Cam tak bersyukur je.. ish ish..

so!
Yesterday was the day to remember. For me that is..
We got our salary review/adjustment/emplacement letter! wooppydidoo~
whereby we are informed of our salary increment(or not), bonus(or not) & our new job level/pangkat(or not)..

You guys must be curious how much i got.
(i maybe delusional thinking that anyone would even be bothered to read this blog. but who cares!)
Gile ape?
Wont be telling la!
Nanti tibe2 some thug bace blog aku, pastu tau how much i got pastu nak kidnap aku.
Tak ke susah nanti aku nk merasa shopping pakai duit bonus tuh?!
hahahahahaha.. Ok, takde maknenye..
Sape la nk kidnap aku? Lagipun ade ke thug2 nak surf internet & do bloghopping? O.o
I doubt it.

Anyhoo.
The only thing that im gonna say is that..
I'm thankful. I am. Now. Haha.

I say now kan? Coz yesterday i wasn't.
At first i was being sulky, feeling down & dissapointed
(mind you, i dont act that way in front of my colleagues PLEASE. on the inside people! inside! :P)
BUT!
After telling my perants & sister. The looks on their faces are..
(well not my sister la, shes in philippines! twitter sudeyh~)
Priceless.

And those faces reminded me to be thankful. And now I am.
I have to start thinking like this again:

Someone is enduiring even a harder life right now.
and AT LEAST i have a job.
AT LEAST i have a job that gives stable income & bonuses once a year.
AT LEAST i have a family who loves me & supports me.
Duit boleh cari. Tapi family kite ni satuuu je.
*emo plak*

I'm not saying that you cant complain. tsk!
I do that ALL the timeeee!
But, just always remember that you also have something to be thankful off & thats even better.

Yes?


Cheers! ;)

so..

so.. can you be in MY playlist instead?

words of encouragement

i'm here for you ♥
you'll get thru this

saya tak faham..

kenapa perlu saya beremosi.

kenapa saya perlu cemburu.

kenapa saya selalu bersikap sebegini.

kenapa saya perlu pikir perkara2 yang merumitkan.

kenapa SAYA yang sering merumitkan keadaan.

kenapa saya boleh jadi macam ini.

saya tak faham.

its that time again

theres something that i dont feel right about.

asyik nak marah.
asyik nk moody.
tarik muka.
tanak senyum.

why?

and this makes him confused.

ive done this before.
last year?
last 2 years?

mesti happen.

i have no clue why.

but i know theres always a reason for this.
i just dont know what.

and no, its not PMS.

I got the JOB!

Yeeha!!

Alhamdulillah!

got a call from them on 28th Sept 09 asking me to go for Medical Check up and to pick up The Offer Letter.

Im one of the 9 shortlisted candidates.

From now on i have to buck up and do my best!

Report for Duty will be on 12 Oct 09.

Aidil Fitri

Salam.

Selamat Hari Raya dear Malaysians!

Lets pray that after this holiday, I will receive a very very good news from a certain company.

I really hope I could get this job.

Went for the 1st interview on 5th Sept.
Then got a call back for 2nd interview which was on 16th Sept.
They will give a call to shortlisted candidate 1 or 2 weeks after the Raya Holidays.

Please pray for me~

Happiness' not gonna stay

And thus stupidity comes into the picture.

Happiness likes to stop by.
rub it in.
lets you glow.
lets you float.

and then BAM!!
it left. runaway.

no letters, not even little notes.
no news.
no message.
nada.

An emotional wreck without any reason is stupid.
and therefore i'm stupid.

please excuse this excruciatingly shallow post.
just wanted to let it out.

I cried for no apparent reason.
is it because what my dad said?
i shouldn't care. but i know i should!
(yup, money. atikah, REMEMBER to pay them back!! EVERY CENT!!)
but not to a point of crying.

stupid atikah. ERRRGHHHH!!!!!

and just now at work.
just as i was ready to finish up my work. NAK BALIK DAH OIIII!
the printer wont print!!!
just 3 pages for crying out LOUD!
suddenly NOW it doesnt want to work.

stupid printer!!

Thank god, I'm a clever b***h.
changed a few setting. and the printer prints!
sheesssshhhh!

o ya, my title.
its true you know.
alaa.. like the term;
"sometimes you're up.
sometimes you're down."
its how you see it. i guess.

this time, i want to see it in a negative way.
please let me be negative/frown/throws a tantrum/scream/curse JUST for a day.
PLEASE!

heck, i'm gonna do it. its my life right?


one more.
Dear friends, (especially Tai C,L, Cheong S.Y, Daniel)
Happy Chinese New Year!
Year of the Ox. but don't drink too much X.O.
LOL.




STOP THE WAR!!
STOP THE KILLINGS!!

internship

tomorrow will be day 1 of 10-week internship program.

shivers me spine thinking.
but will somehow be optimistic.

EVERYTHING will go well.

hai~
pray for me! X3

selfish

children can be selfish.

why?

we rebel when parents trying to protect us.
we don't listen when they give advices.
we talk back when at times we shouldn't
we sigh when they asked us a few favors.
we make faces when they starts to bebel.


parents. on the other hand.

tried their hardest to give whats best.
never get tired of us.
just had to give advices wishing that we won't make mistakes like they did.
just want to protect their "babies".


but sometimes these never-tiring-love could lead to suffocation.

a suffocation that we should bare and appreciate.
and never take for granted.

run, stop, relax.

something we are so use to doing, suddenly stop.
what should we do?

will we be running amok?
will everything go haywire?

perhaps we should slow down and look at the rainbow.
right after the rain.
perhaps we should stop and feel the light breeze.
of a calm evening.

it will be hard at first but please.
dont be despair.
everything will work out eventually.

paranoia

ok. finished muet just a week ago.
i think i did ok. hahahahaha!
why? i guess its been a loooong time since i answered multiple choice questions.
a bit slow. in choosing. *nervous laugh*

*WARNING*
these thoughts are just thoughts, not more than a selfish brat expressing what she feels at the moment.. this will subside. eventually. hah!
proceed at own risk.

lately.
ive becoming more and more paranoid.
talked with my "sahabat" (die tak bg panggil best friend, "sbb laki n pompuan tak leh jd best friends." whatev, syg gak die.)
anyways, i talked to him bout this problem of mine.
and you know what he said?
he too had this problem when he was in a relationship before.
the weird thing is, this is coming from a guy. a guy being paranoid.
its just unreal.

to me.
1. (most) guys are not sensitive.
2. they do not think of their girls' feeling (if they have one that is.)
3. they only think of themselves first. then what/whoevers on the list.
4. they spend ONLY for themselves FIRST. and IF they have some to spare, then only they will spend on you. but that happen after he debated with himself whether its worth it spending on you.
5. they will use what ever excuse to get away.
6. they said that girls are complicated.
7. they break promises and gets away with it.


haha.
am i too nagative?
i know i cant label all male homosapiens like that. but.
theres a but!

i know a few guys who are nice.
who respect women.
who are aware and sensitive of their surroundings.
who know what to do with their lives.
had planned everything in order. if it doesnt happen, they'll make it happen.
who are not perverts.
who knows how to be a gentleman without faking it.

but sayang. these few guys are all taken.
or. i havent found him yet.
haha.

so women are complicated creatures?
we think more than we should?

well.. i think that can be applied from person to person.
but.
i guess. im one of the paranoias. sigh.


please tell me how to get reed this disease.

MUET

will be seating for MUET tomorrow and on saturday.
ive found this site. which provided an overview of whats coming.
and get this!
this October/November 2008 intake will be the 1st batch for a newly revised, test specification.
sigh~
theres even a comparison table.
looks better tho. the new specs.
but the 4 tests remain the same.
they are: Listening, Speaking, Reading and Writing.

just pray that everything will go well tomorrow and saturday.

i usually get butterflies in my stomach when it comes to exams.
especially national exams. XD
*chuak je lebih*
a lot of people had said that its easy.
but i shouldnt be taking this lightly.
however, right now, i am.
hahaha!

tomorrow, should be there before 11 am.
speaking test.
wish me luck~

5-year-old me

so i went out with my Along (mom's eldest sis) to teman her to celcom.
to subscribe data line for broadband.
the counter girl thought that Along was my mom. XD

finished with that went home.
ate brunch from food we bought at multimedia college at gurney/jln semarak.
i had to teach my aunt on how to use the laptop.
i tell u, now i kinda understand how a teacher feels.
to teach something new to ppl who are clueless in the first place.
such great patient is definitely needed!

anyway, while we were relaxing.
my aunt asked me.
Along: Atikah ingat tak lg mase along duk atas rumah nenek?
Me: ingat. nape? akah suke naik and look at u making kain batik.
Along: taaakk! bukan mase tu! time tu hang dah besaq dah.. rasenya time atikah duk budak2 lagi. dalam umoq 5-6 tahun kot.
Me: ha?? O_O bile tu? tak ingat langsung! yeke? hehehehe.. atikah wat pe?
Along: along duk make up hang la. umi macam tak suka time tu.. tiba2 turun umah, ade lipstick kat bibiq hang, bedak satu muka. kadang2 teruih mandi kat atas. comeyyy tul hang dulu2.
suka naik ataih. tok chak duk tanya, "apaa lah hang wat kat atikah sampai wardah duk bising2 ni?" takda pa lah! duk make up sket2 je.. along jawab. hahahahaha!!
Me: ha?! hahahahaha!! tul ke?
Along: Ade 1 time tu, mak dik suh potong siket rambut atikah. sebab dia bilang kacau mata. ok la, along potong. Hang duk senyap2, tak gerak langsung! bila along cakap nanti jadi lawa! hahahahaha!! duk senyaaapp je. lepah tu, teruih hang pegang cermin tak mau lepah. hahahaha!! Sayang tak ambil gambaq.
Me: ha? yeke? tp atikah mmg ngada siket. suke melawa mase kecik dulu. malu la kalo ade gambaq!
Along: Awatnye malu?! hang kicik lagi! tapi tu la. hang je yg suka naik ataih punnn.. Along layan je hang. hahaha.. Hang pun suka!!


hahahahahahahaha!!!
who would've thought.
she remembered me at that age. im gald she told me.
happy!

attachments

attachments.
is it good for u?
does it gives u strengths to go on with life?
are family attachments?
friends?
boy/girlfriends?
car?
house?
job?

but sometimes we need to let go. (not all of them)
in order to be better.

need to let go.
but couldn't.
just couldn't.

yes. it will be very painful.
but one needs to think of the future.
will it be as one would planned?

will this chemistry last forever.
after years.
it will fade.
then, how we would to let go that easily?
this kind of attachment IS bad.

therefore, how do YOU let go?
after knowing each other all these years so well it annoys you?
u just cant let go THAT easily..

attachment.
it'll give u guilt.
for you will hurt that person when u made that decision to leave.
u will feel regret.
for you will be asking yourself, why did u made that initial step to be close with that person in the first place.

the good thing bout attachments.
it'll give u a sense of security.
that you have achieved the target u planned for.

this is shallow.
i need to let go.
but i still dont know.

Money Money Money Moooooney!

trying as much as possible to finish this work.
but at the same time glad that i got to learn something that is.. interesting.
something that i took for granted before.

havent talked bout raya..
ahaha. raya is about to end.
and this year is the least amount of time i spent celebrating it.
with not getting yet my baju raya. and visited lil number of open house(s).
raya is just not that kind of raya anymore. (well this year that is..)
lets see.. less than 10? no. 5 (open houses).
yes..
does visiting cousins and 2nd cousins count?
i guess..
the only friend's open house i went was anim's.
pathetic.
this time, the raya mood has been turned off.
as u aged, it gets less interesting.
but mayb petrol got to do with it.
it has gotten waaayy up, then went down juuuuust a little, then went down again..
the government is trying their hardest to please the ppl they fooled.
but still.
everything is getting expensive.
recession is coming. or.. its already arrived.

ahaha.. what happen from raya to recession?
money.
its all about the money.
u cant live without money.
same as u cant live without air, food, family, friends, love, internet, blogs, etc.
money IS happiness.
in order for me to write on this blog, requires a laptop, internet connection, wireless router laptop cooler, electricity.
and that entails quite a big some of money.
and im trying to learn/understand on how to expand it instead of finishing it. XD

in the future, whereby it WILL happen.
i will be sleeping on beds of money.
where at times i'd say, "i dont care how much it costs, just buy it!"